Holistic Body Love Coach & Psychologist on A Women’s Fitness Magazine Cover Inspiring you to Flex Your Self-Love Muscle

WOW WOW WOW!!!!!!

A DREAM COME TRUE!!!!

Ever since I was a teen, I’ve always dreamed I’d be on the cover of a fitness magazine…

However, I NEVER dreamed it to be when I have a fuller, curvier and softer shape, with stretch marks on my “squishy” belly (as my son likes to describe it) until I learned to LOVE MY BODY 

After almost a decade of chronic dieting to finally achieve a lean, 6 pack physique to compete in a figure competition in 2008, it was my “A-ha moment” that having what our society would see as an “ideal body” only brought on, for me, extreme obsession and rigidity with eating, binge eating behaviors, self-consciousness, constantly beating myself up and never feeling good enough – not to mention comparing myself to others to see if I measured up (and what do you think I felt? Yep- still never felt as pretty, as fit looking, muscular and lean enough…

Unfortunately, we live in such a society that focuses so much on WEIGHT and IMAGE.

So I had enough of trying to chase and maintain the perfect body, and decided to just learn to love myself and my body, and SEPARATE MY WORTH as a person FROM MY BODY’S SHAPE, SIZE & WEIGHT.

And today, I am so proud to be on a cover of GORGO Fitness Magazine, an AMAZING women’s international online fitness magazine that embraces STRONG, HEALTHY, FIT, INSPIRING AND EMPOWERING WOMEN in every shape and size!!! I wouldn’t want to have my first fitness cover be any other magazine!!!

I chose purposely to wear a tiny sports bra so I could show my belly-the part of my body that I HATED for most of my life (even when it was smaller and flatter)… and now, my belly being the biggest it’s probably ever been (not counting pregnancies), is a part of me that I have grown to love, no matter what it looks like.

Thank you GORGO Fitness Magazine for NOT retouching my photo, I LOVE my tiger stripes and my soft round gorgeous belly. There is so much loving energy that is held here.

I am SO DEEPLY HONORED and in ABUNDANT JOY to be able to be part of a BODY LOVE MOVEMENT and show off my INNER STRENGTH & CONFIDENCE on a cover of a magazine!

My body doesn’t have to be lean, streamlined, muscles popping to be strong, lift more than my body weight, sprint fast, be flexible, agile, do weighted burpees regularly, squat jumps, run half a marathon on trails, and kick butt in martial arts.

Words cannot describe how AWESOME it is to feel so FREE with food and feel ROCKIN’ in my naked body 

Go and download your very own copy, in which I also wrote a powerful article on Flexing Your Self-Love Muscle on p.22!!!

There’s so much juicy stuff in this magazine from self-love, to nutrition, to moving your body, inspiration and so much more! I HIGHLY suggest you subscribe 

And while you’re at it, contact me here for a complimentary body love coaching strategy session so you can feel FOOD FREEDOM and feel ROCKING in your naked body too!!!  

achieving goals

How to Set Goals, Stick to them and Achieve Them!

Do you set goals with excitement and gung-ho attitude that you are going to “crush” your goals, have fantastic energy and momentum at the start, make some great progress, but maybe a few weeks later, you find yourself slowing down, or perhaps even feeling unmotivated?

Why does this happen and more importantly, how can you make sure to see your goals through?

To understand how our brain works, picture an iceberg which will be representative of our brain. The tip of the iceberg that is visible symbolizes our conscious brain, which is only about 10% of our brain. This part of our brain stores both conscious and unconscious core beliefs. Core beliefs are the files we have that open up and have us react to situations in a certain way because of what we believe, which are formed unconsciously in childhood. These beliefs can serve us or not serve us today. The rest of the iceberg, which is 90%, is our unconscious brain, stores unconscious beliefs.

iceberg.jpg

We consciously set goals, or another word for this is setting INTENTIONS. So for example, when it comes to weight loss, you may set an intention to lose 20 pounds to improve your health. Let’s say you manage to stay on track to lose 10 pounds over the next eight weeks. Then the next couple weeks, you find yourself starting to eat more foods that do not serve your goals, you are exercising less often and you find yourself giving into your excuses. You even gain back four pounds.

What’s happening? Why are you getting off track from your intention?

Because somewhere in your unconscious part of your brain, you have limiting unconscious beliefs that are sabotaging your efforts. It may sound like, “I am not worthy of my desires”, “It is not safe to be in this body” (usually comes up in cases where a person has been abused as a child), “I do not deserve success”. Again these messages were created unconsciously as a young child (usually) based on our family system, and experiences with peers, teachers, and other influential people in our lives.

So even though you consciously are telling yourself, “Yes I REALLY do want to lose 20 pounds”, there is somewhere inside, unconsciously that does not agree with this. It’s based on fear.

So then, how can you make sure to see your goals through? Here is a blue print for you:

  • Write down your intentions/goals specifically. Track your progress. Remember, results are a reflection of what is happening in the unconscious brain. When you achieve results, your conscious and unconscious beliefs are in alignment. When you only make it up to a certain progress, then your conscious and unconscious minds are not matching.
  • If you notice you are plateauing, sabotaging, or regressing in your goals, take some time to write down honestly what is going on.

So in the example above, it’s acknowledging what is going on regarding behaviors. Writing down statements such as: “I am choosing to eat when I am bored, stressed or to reward myself.” “I am choosing to get distracted by unimportant things rather than work out.” Note the language that you are choosing to do these behaviors.

  • This next step can be a difficult one because you are addressing uncomfortable thoughts and feelings as you dig deeper into your unconscious:

Perhaps you do not feel safe in your body because of past experiences such as being bullied and teased for your body size; your body betrayed you someway with an illness, or you were sexually abused so you cannot trust that your body keeps you safe, because it did not.

Many times, what I see is that as my clients are losing weight, they are getting more attention. This makes them uncomfortable in their body, because of their past experiences. This is a good step to connect with a trained professional such as a coach or therapist to support you in this step to work through these unconscious core beliefs. We are wounded in relationships, so it only makes sense to be healed in relationships (starting with that of a trained professional).

  • Address how you will work through these limiting beliefs. A good start is to create a statement called an affirmation, that is the opposite of your limiting belief. So following the above example:

“ I am safe in this body now”. Repeat this statement consciously multiple times a day, especially when you are feeling triggered in feeling uncomfortable. In many ways, you are re-parenting your inner child.

You can also create concrete examples of how to cope with stress, boredom and rewards without turning to food. This is all about changing your self-talk and behaviors to support your new positive self-talk.

  • Get support. Once again, a mindset coach and/or a like-minded group can be extremely helpful to keep your accountability. Research shows that in the absence of the right support, unfortunately, environment always wins. So it’s important to surround yourself with like-minded, positive people who can cheer-lead and believe in you.

I hope this article helps you create breakthroughs to crush those goals this year! I’d love to support you if that resonates with you!

Rosalyn Fung, M.Sc., is Founder of Holistic Body Love Coaching Inc.,

a Self-Loveroz6 Transformational Coach & Registered Psychologist.

She loves inspiring others to be empowered in their relationship with food, body, money, health, confidence, and living a joyful and abundant life.

To schedule your COMPLIMENTARY strategy session to see how she can support you in achieving your goals, book here.

Make Fear Your Friend to Achieve Your Goals

Fear – we all hate that feeling of being uncomfortable and scared. Fear also shows up in anxiety, overwhelm , feeling stuck, and self-doubt. Fear has many masks.

However it shows up for you, fear stops you from taking action to go to the next level in your life. As a result, you can’t live in your highest version of yourself and be happier.

Let me use this analogy to help you understand conceptually how you may be allowing fear to keep you playing small.

If you look at a spaceship, it needs to have to enough momentum to escape the gravitational force field in order to enter space. Once the rocket enters space, then it’s smooth gliding from there and the view is phenomenal, isn’t it?

Now imagine that YOU are the spaceship and the gravitational force field is your comfort zone, and outside of your comfort zone is fear. You need to have enough momentum and energy to take yourself past this force field in order to really get to where you need to get to when it comes to achieving your goals – whether that’s making new friends, trying a new hobby, changing your relationship with food, achieving your dream body, starting a new business or letting go of a toxic relationship.

comfortzone

Once you achieve your goal, you experience a state of feeling exhilarated, powerful, and proud of yourself, amongst other amazing feelings. It’s truly incredible how the Universe really does provide you the supports you need to help you get to where you want to go, when you are truly opened to it.

Whatever your “goal” is, let yourself make friends with fear, because without it, your goals are not challenging you enough to get you into your Highest Self. So making friends with fear is about leaning into the resistance, rather than avoiding or fighting it.

Here’s an example. My client Kate (note: name is changed to maintain confidentiality) came to see me because she wants to lose weight and feels frustrated with not achieving this goal. She has been following a very structured eating plan. However, her approach to her relationship with food has her constantly obsessed with it- from the amount of time she has to take planning and prepping so that she eats the perfect amount of protein, carbs, fats down to the measurement, to thinking about the next meal she eats, to figuring out how to sneak in that cupcake and then work out extra hard so she can eat it, to overindulging at parties at the bread and dessert table, to obsessing over the number on the scale and getting frustrated that the results are not happening fast enough…she cannot stop obsessing about food, and it completely controls her life. She’s constantly thinking or talking about losing weight to her friends and family.

What I invite Kate to do next is to learn to let go of control in her relationship with food. The very aspect that keeps her tight and controlled is the same aspect that is keeping her playing small and “falsely safe”. Letting go of control of course brings up extreme amount of discomfort and fear. “If I let go of being so structured and controlling with food, how will I ever lose weight?!” This does not make sense to Kate because her fear makes her believe that letting go emotionally and mentally is equivalent of letting herself go physically.  In fact, this is not true.

Kate needs the “momentum” of learning to face her fear and work through it, which is where I come in to support and guide her with strategies so that she can pierce past the boundaries of her comfort zone (that is, how she was going into relationship with food).

After only working with Kate for a few sessions and having her understand the negative impact control had over her in mind, body and spirit, and learning tools to approach her relationship with food and her body in a more loving, gentle way, she started to lose the weight. Today, Kate has lost her goal weight and more importantly, speaks to herself kindly and feels at peace in her relationship with food. She is “soaring” and feeling free! Yay Kate!

If you’re inspired and resonate with Kate’s story, I’d love to support you as a Self-Love IMG_0909Transformational Coach!

Go ahead and book in a complimentary strategy session with me now to see how I can best help you achieve your goals! I’d absolutely love to!🙂

Rosalyn Fung, M.Sc., is the Founder of Holistic Body Love. You can learn more about her on her website here.

How to Enjoy Thanksgiving without Overeating, Binging or Feeling Guilty

turkey

Canadian Thanksgiving Is this weekend, and American Thanksgiving is not far behind!

Thanksgiving and other special occasions are usually events that are celebrated with food…and LOTS of it. It’s a time where we joke about bringing a pair of sweat pants so we can let our bellies purposely expand.

Do you feel fearful about losing control with food when it comes to celebrations?

  • Maybe you are scared that if you eat food that you normally view as “bad”, or a “big no-no” in your nutrition plan, you know you won’t be able to stop eating and eating.
  • If you count macros or calories, maybe you stress about how to keep track of your numbers if you do not know exactly how many calories, points, macros, etc grandma’s homemade food is.
  • Maybe you starve yourself all day just to save your calories for the huge Turkey Dinner, and then end up feeling painfully uncomfortable because you overate three times over.
  • Maybe you feel so guilty for eating so much food that the next day you over-exercise to work off all the “damage”.
  • You may find yourself increasingly anxious as Thanksgiving approaches, and you work extra hard at the gym so that you can allow yourself to eat the Turkey dinner.
  • You can’t stop focusing on the number on that scale, and you feel so anxious about gaining weight that you just stay so obsessed about not letting that number on the scale move up, and as a result, feel anxious and stressed overall.

What do all the above scenarios have in common? It all involves how much energy is revolved around your relationship with food and body image. I personally have suffered from all the above situations in the past, and it’s exhausting! So much energy is put into maintaining a certain number on the scale and a certain physique, and I thought the answer was just about what I put in my mouth. So I developed a rigid mindset where I only allowed myself to eat extremely clean foods and would punish myself with destructive self-talk if I ate something that was “not healthy”.

So I’m writing this post because if you can relate to the above situations, I’m reaching out to let you know that there’s hope and you can get out of this love-hate relationship with food.

Here are some guidelines on how to approach Thanksgiving in a proactive way:

  • Create a daily mindful ritual that helps you feel grounded first thing in the morning.
    • I personally apply my Young Living Essential Oils “Joy” and “Abundance” on, and say a positive affirmation that helps me feel into my Higher (Empowered) Self. I start my day in responding mode, rather than reacting mode. Feeling grounded first thing in the morning allows you to build your tolerance to stress.  (start your free account with Young Living so you can receive 24% off retail price and get them delivered straight to your home!)
    • I suggest not to check your emails first thing in the morning because then you are setting yourself up for starting your day in reaction mode. This just creates stress.
  • Eat normally as if you would everyday. Nourish your body, eat regular macro-nutrient balanced meals throughout the day.
  • Drink lots of water throughout the day, you can squeeze fresh lemon in there for improving your digestion and flavour. You can also use Young Living Essential oils in here such as lime, lemon or grapefruit.
  • Move your body because you are respecting it, not because you fear food, fear body fat or are punishing your body.
  • When it comes to the actual celebration meal, here are some ways to prep:
    • Mentally: Prep yourself by telling yourself that the focus is about staying in JOY and CONNECTION with others. Put the social in the foreground, and food in the background.  Give yourself permission to enjoy the food – do not worry about staying within your macros, calories, points, etc. The more stress you put on yourself, the less you will enjoy the overall experience. Thanksgiving is a time to truly focus on gratitude- be thankful for all that you have in your life, keep this as the focus.
    •  Emotionally: Take deep breaths, if you have time, engage in your morning ritual by stating your affirmation and breathing in and applying essential oils, bring them with you as tools to soothe. Or if you don’t use oils, have an image of something calming to come back to in your mind when you start to feel stressed or anxious.
    • Physically: Eat mindfully and slowly, really let yourself savour the food.
    • Spiritually: Stay in connection with yourself, checking in with your level of anxiety and calming down if you notice the anxiety is rising.

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Oct 11 at 3pm MST

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My Most Recent Client Body Love Story

blossom

“Since working with you last year, I have not been on a diet in a year (the old me probably would have been on 6-12 diets by now) and guess what?  I’ve lost 13 pounds.  Thirteen pounds, without even “trying”.  Thirteen pounds that my body no longer needed and was really to let go of.  I feel lighter physically, but mostly mentally.  I am no longer carrying around the weight of “not good enough”.  I feel free.  I love myself more and feel more confident in my skin that I ever have and I just wanted to say thank you, Roz.  Thank you for giving me the tools and encouragement to step in to my power and learn to love myself, flaws and all.  And as an added bonus to this amazing year of transformation, self-love and healing, my back pain is all but gone.  In part because I have started listening to the whispers of my body and not waiting for it to SCREAM at me. Thank you again for everything.  My life is better because of you”. ~ Brandi B. 

Ready to Work with Rosalyn? roz5

Schedule in a Free 15 minute strategy session to see how she can best support you as a Mindset Coach!

BOOK HERE!  

Or if you can’t wait and you are ready to book in for a 1 on 1 session, email Rosalyn directly at info@holisticbodylove.ca

Rosalyn is Founder of Holistic Body Love, Registered Psychologist & a Mindset Coach. She is the go-to person to help you feel more empowered in your relationship with food, body image, weight, positive self-talk, relationships with other people and money mindset. Her website is http://www.holisticbodylove.ca

completely mess up your diet or detox!

Wrong Ways to Diet or Detox – Stop Doing This Now!

Diet versus detox – the confusion is real

 

detox vs diet

There is a difference between going on a short-term detox to reset your body (from eating heavier meals during the holiday) and dieting. The main difference is in the mentality and emotions we hold around a detox and around a diet.

I believe in general, a detox is temporary and comes from a grounded, loving, honoring and listening-to-your-body place, whereas dieting is intermittently continuous and never ending (on, off, & repeat) and comes from a self-punishing, shame-based, “hate-my-body” place. This is just my observation in my practice with clients and also with myself in my own experiences.

Self-torture will get you nowhere

However, a detox can be coming from a self-punishing place too if a person is not truly in-tuned with their mind-body-spirit connection, and is doing it just for the sake of “losing weight”. So the goal would be externally focused rather than internal– this too then would feel like torture. The accompanying thoughts are stemming from a place of body hate: “Ugh, I am so fat, I hate myself for getting so fat, why did I let myself get so fat?!”   So in other words, a cleanse in this case is just another form of “dieting”. To this individual, there is no expiry date with dieting. It’s just an endless cycle of being on the diet, then fall off the diet, then back on a diet (and sometimes, it’s on to the next fad diet).

dieting vs detoxing

In contrast, a detox, if coming from a loving place, would be more aligned with intuitive eating:

  • noticing the body feels bloated,
  • noticing the body is craving more fresh and whole foods again, and
  • honoring the body’s needs (e.g., more energy, better digestion, less mood swings, clear brain fog and increase mental alertness and clarity, improve quality of hair and skin, etc).

Implementing ‘body love’ is vital

love your body

The accompanying thoughts are one stemming from a place of body love: of “needing to care for myself, reset to optimize my health again because I deserve it”. The individual would expect this cleanse to be temporary and resume with ease normal eating behaviors again that support and optimize their health immediately afterwards. Notice there is no mentality about needing to “lose weight” (it is a side effect but it is not the main purpose of a detox).

So, let’s make it a goal to stop dieting, and start cultivating body love from the inside out.

I’ve struggled as a chronic dieter and binge eater for years and hated my body, and through my journey, I now have landed in a sacred place where I completely and wholehearted embrace and love myself and my body.

Want more?

Download my FREE Body Love Superfoods Checklist here and you can check out my

10 Day Body Love Detox Reset & Mindset Program too! 

 

10-day Body Reset Detox


Rosalyn Fung is a Registered Psychologist & Founder of Holistic Body Love. She is a wellness speaker, consultant, mentor, writer & blogger. Roz specializes in Holistic Nutritional Psychology in which she empowers people in their relationship with food, body image, weight, as well as digestion, fatigue, immunity and mood.

good food bad food

Food Is NOT the Enemy, Self-Bullying Is!

I want to talk to you about food. For many of you, food creates tension, confusion, love/hate, pleasure, guilt, shame, and secrecy.However, food is never the enemy.
 cooking food

Society Is to Blame

Food is neither good or bad but we as a society have assigned moral values to food. So what happens is that when you eat a food, you believe is “bad”, then you consciously and unconsciously see yourself as a bad person for eating that food.

society
Yes, there is scientific research that states that specific foods are “good” for you and other kinds of foods are “bad” for you because of their nutritional profile. However, I invite you to be a food scientist, and rather than seeing things as good or bad, to ask yourself: ‘Does this food serve me or not?’

Good Food Versus Bad Food -You Decide

healthy fruit saladThe best educator if a food is going to serve you or not is you and your body! To determine if a food serves you or not ask yourself the following questions before you eat the food (as a baseline), and right after you eat the food, two hours after you eat it, and the next morning.
  1. How are my energy levels? Low, moderate, or high?
  2. How is my mental clarity? Do I have brain fog or am I able to focus and concentrate? Is my mental clarity sharp?
  3. How is my mood: irritable, stable, or angry?  (note: Not the same as how you are feeling about eating that food because your answer will always be guilt).
  4. How is my digestive health: bloated, clear, or constipated?
  5. How did I sleep last night?
Track these questions every time you eat your “forbidden food”. You will see if there are actually negative effects on your inner health. Do not focus so much on what you think and know about the food  based on what you have learned about it from outside resources. Be a food scientist and use yourself as the subject.

People React Differently to Food

good and bad foodHow certain food affects one person may have a very different effect on another person. For example, my husband can eat granola and not have sugar hangover, whereas for me, when I have granola (in appropriate serving size), my belly starts to hurt and my head starts to spin. So if I choose to eat granola, I make it a conscious decision that I am also choosing to accept the consequences. That means I will not beat myself up for enjoying it and experiencing the negative effects on my body afterwards. I take it for what it is and move on.
You may be surprised to learn that what you thought was bad for you, may actually not have any negative impact on you. Sometimes, however, it may confirm that it does! Ultimately, this is how you can start neutralizing your food and stop seeing food as good or bad.
Food is not the enemy…bullying yourself is!
Food is just food.  You can change your story. You can change the way you respond to food, regardless of what it is.
I’d love to hear from you about how your food scientist experience is! 🙂 What did you learn?

Want to get more high-value insights about how to discover Freedom With Food, Body Love Confidence and Being Your Own Best Friend? 

Sign up and receive my FREE E-Guide “8 Ways to Cope with Stress & Manage Cravings” here

Rosalyn Fung The ZeitRosalyn Fung is a Registered Psychologist & Founder of Holistic Body Love. She is a wellness speaker, consultant, mentor, writer & blogger. Roz specializes in Holistic Nutritional Psychology in which she empowers people in their relationship with food, body image, weight, as well as digestion, fatigue, immunity and mood.

Her approach is a combination of eating psychology, positive psychology, mindfulness, neuroscience, family systems and nutritional therapy. She’s the go-to person to help you understand how to feel normal around food, and break-free from body image and weight struggles.

Follow Rosalyn on Facebook at Rosalyn Fung Holistic Body Love-Psychologist

Twitter: @RosalynFung

Instagram: @holisticbodylove

Blog: Pausitivity 

Connect with someone

When was the Last Time You Connected with Someone?

life transformationI just recently took a 5-day personal development course put on by Creators Code, called “The Launch” on June 1st. It transformed me to another chapter in my journey called ‘life’. This was no ordinary personal development course. It is an experiential course that was 10-12 hours each day and we dived in deep! This course really inspired me to write this post.

 

I am Like You So Listen

I am here today blogging not as a psychologist but rather as just me- Rosalyn. I am not wearing my therapist hat, the wife, mom, sister, or daughter hat, I am here just like you, a regular human being. I see myself first as a human and my other roles as secondary. And what I learned from this personal development course is that sometimes who I am as a therapist hijacks my ability to be human. Although I show up authentically real with my clients: supporting, loving, direct (I call bullshit when I see it), I also have parts of me that I don’t show, because it isn’t appropriate or professional.  No one wants to see their therapist have a meltdown, right?😉

So my point is that sometimes I fear that people will be shocked when I express the range of human experiences in my personal life because “I’m a therapist and I should know better”. But guess what?  I sometimes get angry and scream at my kids. Sometimes I play small because I don’t want to seem like I am bragging or being too much. Other times I have moments of self-consciousness about my body, sometimes I am guarded, sometimes I zone out on Facebook because I don’t want to deal with life. These all sound like familiar behaviors to some of you, right? Yeah, we all have tactics for showing up in the world as a way to emotionally protect ourselves.

Who You and I Really Are

My work is to help people come back into their wholeness and essence of who they were when they were born – which is pure love, light, and joy. I sometimes forget to do this for myself because I am so passionate about helping others. I forget about me, but during this course, I was able to reconnect with that little girl in me that remembers playfulness, silliness, coloring outside the lines, and being unapologetically me.

rediscover the little girl in you

Can you imagine a world where we could all get back to being in our true essence? When we didn’t have to please anyone, play small so we don’t have to hurt others’ feelings, or toughen up because we don’t feel safe, disconnect from our heart because someone hurt it too many times. Imagine if we could speak the truth to one another without worrying about offending anyone. What about receiving feedback from others without feeling judged or offended?

I have this dream and I truly believe I’m on the path to contributing to it both professionally and personally. My dream and passion are to become a conscious loving human being and help others do the same. This entails being so aware not only of ourselves but also of those around us. Being conscious and collective where we love our neighbors and strangers. Showing up with kindness and compassion to ourselves and one another. Can you imagine the ripple effects this would create out in the world if people started to raise their level of self-love and loving presence to one another? There would eventually be less war, less violence, less bullying, less judgment, less shame, less abuse, less racism, less oppression, and less hate. Instead, there would be more peace, love, environmental awareness, and happiness, within ourselves and with those around us. There would be a sense of community.

So my whole point of this is to share with you how precious you are and to reflect on who you are when you aren’t wearing your different masks. This dream starts by learning to love yourself.

We were all once a young child, precious, perfect, and sweet. Who wouldn’t want to go back to before all the rules and experiences came along; before people started  telling us how to behave or not to behave. When you get blamed, usually someone else allows themselves to judge what you did as bad and put that on you. Then we form a story that we are bad because we are told so. So go back to remembering who you are before all that happened. Most of us won’t be able to, but most of us can probably think of a little newborn baby and immediately we melt, we ooooh and ahhhhh, and we think this baby is perfect. Well, that baby still is the essence of you.

Baby blogging

An Experiment for You to Try

I have an experiment for you to try to create a powerful and heartwarming experience:

The next time you are with a loved one, it could be your partner, a dear friend, sibling, your child (best if the child is 6 or older), or parent. Tell them that you’d like to try connecting with them in a way that you may not have done in a long time, and it involves touch and silence and a lot of heart.

I invite you to face that person, and hold each other’s hands; just look at each other in the eyes, keep eye contact, and just see if you can really see them. I realize it may feel awkward at first., so let the awkward feelings come up. Breathe; let the awkwardness pass and breathe some more. See if you can even match the rhythm of your breath together as you continue to look into each other’s eyes. Keep breathing so that your breath connects with your heart and then your belly as you continue to hold your gaze with each other.connect with child

Many people believe that our eyes are the windows to our soul.

So notice that this person that’s in front of you once was a child, precious, perfect, and sweet. Also, notice that this part of them still lives in them. Then notice your own experience in your body as you become aware of the other person’s preciousness as well as your own. In that very moment, appreciate this about the other person and in yourself. In that moment you do not have to please, play small, wall up, avoid, zone out, get defensive, or whatever you do to protect yourself from the world. You are just you being here having this experience; you are connected in your essence. Continue reading

self-love and body transformation

Tips for Developing Self-Love While Transforming Your Body

For those of you just reading this now, as a Food & Body Image Psychologist, I wanted to demonstrate to you that you can go on a Body Transformation AND (learn to) Love Yourself. You can read about this on my previous blog here. 

I’ve been on this Body Transformation & Self-Love journey for almost 8 weeks now with Coach Nadine Dumas, and wanted to share some insights on my takeaways so far from my own experiences. Note that everyone’s experiences would be different since we’re all different individuals with our own histories. 

I am writing in a perspective that will hopefully help you gain tips for how to emotionally and mentally grow on your own SELF-LOVE and BODY TRANSFORMATION journey.  

My idea of a Body Transformation and Self-Love Journey is not about how much weight or inches I’ve lost or showing you my before/after photos because, although this is bound to happen, it’s not the point of it. This is about showing you how to LOVE YOURSELF from INSIDE OUT while your body is transforming. 

Self-love starts with Self-Care

Self- Love Starts withself-Care.jpg

What does self-love actually mean? It’s 2 parts:

1) Self Love is appreciating you (just like you do with loved ones) 

2) Self -Love is action oriented. It’s engaging in action that supports your psychological, emotional, physical, physiological, and spiritual well-being.  In other words, self-care activities.

Take your before and progress photos from a Place of Respect for Your Body

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How many of you cringe, pick apart your body, focus on what else needs improvement about your body when you take your before and/or progress pictures? I know I used to. Even if I could see progress, I would still be picking apart my body for what else needed improvement.

Please don’t do that. You only show your body more disgust and hate. And you know what your body’s doing? Listening to you. And what happens when you treat something with disgust and hate? It won’t love you back. It will fight you back. So in your body’s case, it will fight you back with physical symptoms such as plateauing, weight gain, bloating, digestive issues, illness, and other unwanted symptoms. Emotionally? It will feel heavy, drained, stressed, tired, sad, lonely, exhausted, burnt out, angry, hopeless, shame.

So when/if you take before and progress photos, please focus on how amazing your body already is, no matter what shape/size/weight you are now- this machine that gives you life, the ability to move from place A to B, the ability to breath, to feel, to walk, run, climb, crawl, dance, hug, touch, make love, hold a loved one, write, sing, paint, create, explore, relax, etc. Respect and be grateful for your body, and it will show you love back in the “symptoms” of energy, vitality, positive thinking, mental clarity, great digestive health as well as feeling happiness, purpose, meaning, hope, love, joy, freedom, peace, and so much more!

Eating healthy is self-care, therefore, health eating is self-love. However, it’s only one aspect of self-care.

As part of being in the journey, it’s about putting some attention and focus on my relationship with food for some of the time, but for the most part of my life, have it as something in the background (rather than the foreground). The rest of the time, I’m focusing on all the awesome aspects of my life! Eating foods that nourish my body will give me the brain power I need to serve myself and others, to be a great mom, wife, friend, psychologist, mentor, speaker and give me the ability to grow and challenge myself continuously. Continue reading

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A New Take On Body Positivity: Body Image & Food Psychologist Goes on a “Diet”

What?! Roz is going on a diet!? Huh!?

Ok, ok, for those of you who know my work, you know that as a Psychologist, I successfully help people break free from dieting and body image struggles. So why am I hiring someone to “diet” me?

In a previous blog post I wrote called “Can I Still Be on a Diet AND A Journey of Self-Love?“, I talk about a trend I’ve been noticing with my clients and in social media regarding body positivity, which is that when people are in the process of learning to love themselves, they tend to go through a ‘rebellion’ stage from the ‘dieting mentality’. I call this the Pendulum Effect, where dieting, mentality, is based on fear of fat and self-loathing. Then as people break away from dieting mentality, they swing to the other side of the pendulum, which I coined ‘Rebellion Mentality’. Here they tend to indulge in foods that they were not allowed to eat while in ‘Dieting Mentality’. However, they are in the process of self-love so it’s coming from a place of learning to love oneself and breaking food rules. This is a very necessary, healthy, and normal part of learning to love yourself – to break all these food rules that ran their life for years.

I am inspired by people and I love inspiring people. So although I do not believe I need to transform my body as I love it unconditionally, I believe I have the RIGHT to transform my body. As a project to demonstrate and inspire others, I want to show people how to transform their bodies (whether that’s fat loss, muscle gain, or body composition change) with their relationship with food in the background and self-love in the foreground. In dieting mentality, it’s all about being obsessed with food and fear of gaining weight. The missing ingredient is Self-Love.

I have hired Nadine Dumas, who is a health, fitness & nutritional coach, as well as an international fitness model and long time friend to “diet” me. She shares similar values and approach as I do when it comes to  our relationship with food and body. She is all about inside health (balanced hormones, mood, energy, etc.) and has a very balanced approach to food. She has a strong work ethic, a big heart, and is very inspirational in all that she’s accomplished. She is an awesome coach to work with!

BLASTING THE DIET INDUSTRY WITH A MASSIVE DOSE OF “SELF-LOVE”

Now I should clarify, I am not using “Diet” in the same traditional sense that most people know it to be (i.e., rigid, restrictive and from a place of fear of fat, self-loathing, and body shame/hate), rather I’m actually seeing this as a “Nutritional Plan” that will help me meet my body transformation goals. I am of healthy weight and body composition, however, I’d like to challenge my body more with new fitness and health goals (i.e., gain overall strength and power and yes, physically that means I will change my body composition so that I have more lean muscle mass). I want to learn more about my body along the way as I think our bodies are so amazing and fascinating!

I will be counting on Nadine’s expertise in the nutritional, hormonal, physical and physiological areas. I will also use my own expertise in positive psychology, nutritional psychology, and neuroscience to help me transform my body with a massive dose of Self-Love. Continue reading

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Holistic Body Love – Your Secret Weapon Against Eating Disorder

Bonus Article

In honor of the Eating Disorders Awareness Week (Feb 1 -7), I wanted to share with you my message and story of recovery from ” disordered eating”, in hopes of inspiring you to deepen your own sense of health, wellness, balance, and self-love.

The 5 Realms of Holistic Body Love

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Holistic Body Love to me, is about being in a healthy relationship with yourself in five important realms of life: mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually & socially.

Let’s define these five areas:

  1. Mental: This is our self-talk, what it is we say to ourselves about ourselves. Ideally, we want to be engaging in positive self-talk significantly more than negative self-talk.
  2. Emotional: This is the way we feel about ourselves, and the ability to regulate one’s own emotions well. The way we think about ourselves leads to how we feel about ourselves.
  3. Physical: This involves our physical body, not in appearance, but rather with the health condition of our body. For example, a strong immune system, organs that function well, a body that’s well nourished with nutrients, a body that has abundant energy to thrive.
  4. Spiritual: This area can have multiple meanings. For some, it would be one’s own ability to tune into their intuitive wisdom. For others, it may be their connection with a Higher Power. Essentially, it is the ability to see the bigger picture and connect with sacred aspects of life, so that life has fulfillment through deeper meaning and purpose.
  5. Social: We are social creatures at the very core of us, meaning we all need a connection with people to heal. We are influenced every day by relationships and dynamics in our home, work, school, and  life environments.

I see that having a balance in these five realms can help us feel more present, grounded, and empowered in who we are as an individual, and in the various roles we take on. Continue reading